Thursday, August 13, 2020

Losing the Pacifier

There are plenty of things people prepare you for when it comes to parenthood. You won't sleep, you'll be in constant demand (especially if nursing), you'll never again enjoy a hot meal or cup of coffee, etc. On the other hand there are many things moms neglect to inform you of. Months after your baby is born you will lose hair by the handful, all day long. Your hormones, although slightly more stabilized will still be a loose cannon and you may get misty eyed over seeing a pregnancy announcement or a simple birthday card with sweet words. 

One thing people don't prepare you for are the stages of development that are both thrilling and heartbreaking at the very same time. Tonight I put my "baby" down for bed without his pacifier. He is obsessed with his "baba" and I couldn't fathom the day I would tuck him in without it. Nobody tells you when the right moment is or how you should do things. You're just left to figure these things out! 

After a month or so of chewing through his pacifiers and having talks about being gentle with it, today, I had no backups and at nap time, after chewing through his very last one, I had to act fast and made the decision. Today was the day. I questioned it, shed a tear, explained our game plan with him, and that was that. The paci fairy stopped by quickly before bed and gave him a stuffed animal monkey to help him through the night. By the time he was in bed she took the pile of bitten pacifiers and replaced them with another stuffed animal and book and left a sweet note about being a big boy.

I know, this sounds dramatic and I have plenty of big milestones ahead but this one tugged at my heart. It was a big step towards him growing up and allowing him to mourn the loss of something he loved. I'm praying this is a swift transition and it will be interesting to see how he handles his baby brother's paci's when he realizes his are gone tomorrow. 

If you're grappling in a similar situation or just coming to terms with the emotional journey of motherhood, just know you aren't alone! It's challenging, rewarding, emotional, tiring, but golly these years sure go fast. 

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